Thoughts

Journal

I’ve decided I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. Like im trapped in someone elses body. Some times I think how did I get like this. And how am I ever going to get to a weight id be happy with. I don’t feel attractive even thou people say I am. My clothes are feeling too tight and I find myself every day trying to figure out how to hide these rolls and how to make myself look skinny. It takes a lot of work being fat. Sometimes I dream of how it would be to not regret eating that last cookie. Or being skinny and never worrying about gaining weight. Oh how I wish I would have gotten in that line in heaven to sign up to be skinny. Do you ever think if only I could be naturally skinny where weight was never an issue. Where you could eat and eat and never gain a pound. I swear I smell food and gain five pounds. OH biggest pet peev, when those who are skinnier then you sit and complain about how fat they are and how they shouldn’t eat the dessert cause there soooo fat. Oh really well in that case I must be free willy. Seriously do they not notice that your bigger than them. Hunny I look like I ate two of you and that’s just my left thigh. So If you’re a curvy girl like myself im sure all these thoughts have gone throu your mind. So im going to try and get healthy and to start feeling comfortable in my own skin. Day 1… :$