Thoughts

Journal

I’ve decided I feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. Like im trapped in someone elses body. Some times I think how did I get like this. And how am I ever going to get to a weight id be happy with. I don’t feel attractive even thou people say I am. My clothes are feeling too tight and I find myself every day trying to figure out how to hide these rolls and how to make myself look skinny. It takes a lot of work being fat. Sometimes I dream of how it would be to not regret eating that last cookie. Or being skinny and never worrying about gaining weight. Oh how I wish I would have gotten in that line in heaven to sign up to be skinny. Do you ever think if only I could be naturally skinny where weight was never an issue. Where you could eat and eat and never gain a pound. I swear I smell food and gain five pounds. OH biggest pet peev, when those who are skinnier then you sit and complain about how fat they are and how they shouldn’t eat the dessert cause there soooo fat. Oh really well in that case I must be free willy. Seriously do they not notice that your bigger than them. Hunny I look like I ate two of you and that’s just my left thigh. So If you’re a curvy girl like myself im sure all these thoughts have gone throu your mind. So im going to try and get healthy and to start feeling comfortable in my own skin. Day 1… :$

Lost sight

So I know its been a while sense I've posted anything. It turns out I'm not good at blogging.. but I just have been thinking alot about life. And decided I needed to write and get things out. Lately I've had a rough time. Ive been more down then my happy go lucky normal Alyssa self. It takes alot to really have something get to me. Things may hurt me but I usually will try and let it go. But As of late things seem to effect me more. Could be I'm a girl with a roller coaster of emotions. But this down faze is getting real old. I realized that when someone I truly love and is closest to my heart told me I needed to learn to love myself. I feel like I've lost sight of what once was important to me. And of the confidence I once had. So to all of you and to mostly myself. I am bound to find that girl that I once loved and was proud to be. I've become real lazy about alot of things in life. And I need to start really living the life I want to live. I have places I want to go, And things I want to accomplish and i will. I just need to focus on what I want out of this life. I think at one point or another we all lose perspective. I once got told by a wise man that at different points in our lives god gives us chances to start over. And in a way he does. We may lose sight of who we are, are goals, or many other things but at some point the lord allows you to fix, or start from scratch once again to live this life the way each of us desire to live it. I'm thankful for those times the lord has helped me start from scratch. I love life! I love my family. I couldn't ask for a better family. I'm thankful for a best friend who loves me enough to tell me when I'm wrong. I'm thankful for all that this life has to offer. I'm going to try to snatch up every bit of life I can and along the way find me and the path I'm suppose to travel.

Goal for this week..

SO I'm a little late on posting my goal for the week. But this weeks goal is to try and not be so lazy. I feel like i need to find better things to fill up my time more constructive things. So my goal is to be more productive. And also my goal is to read some of the talks from this last conference. I feel like this world is getting so complicated and so stressful that i need to start really focusing on what is important. So why not start with listening to what our prophet is giving us advice on. Life is good, and focusing on the important things, seems to make all the little awful things that start to weigh on all of us miscall in comparison. So there's my goals for the week little by little hopefully ill be more improved than the day before.

oh boy...

Well i havent been too good at tracking what ive been doing this week on my goals. Hopefully i get better at writing on my blog. So this week has been pretty good i have kept up on my working out goal. I have worked out everyday for at least 30mins usually longer. Ive noticed a difference in my mood. I feel im not as down when im working out. The only day that i really struggled was when My bestest friend came over and we decieded to take before pics of ourselves... That was the worst idea ever! I thought i looked bad but oh boy those pics were even worse then i thought! We put one of the pics on a board and wrote how much we weigh and our measurements. Such a depressing thing to look at and realize you need to lose alot of pounds. But on A good note i found out that only a best friend would look at the nasty pics and tell you she thinks your beautiful and points out things she thinks looks good. Im thankful she can lie to me at least to make me feel better. If you want to know if you have a true friend take some nasty pics in less clothing then what you would ever let anyone else see. Then you can tell. Ha ha Im thankful for Her, she keeps me sane. A best friend is someone who knows all your secrets and still loves you after! I just wanted to post how thankful i am for her! Krista is Beautiful inside and out! I love her so so much! Thanks for being my bestie!!

Goals for the week!

So for my first goal ive decided to start to fix a problem i have and i think all of us have and that is when we compare ourselves to others and think negatively about ourselves. So...

 Goal#1-Find Two things I love about myself each day. one being a physical attribute and the other something about my personality. Throughout the day if a negative thought about myself or I start comparing myself to someone im going to try and replace that thought with the positive thing I love about myself.

For my second goal im sick of feeling bad about the way I look. Mostly in the weight department so ive decided in this journey I just want to become healthy. NOT STICK SKINNY cause i like having some curves but I want to feel comfortable. So..

Goal#2- Workout at least three times this week for thirty mins or longer.

A new beginning

Well as the new year has arrived. As always its got me thinking about what I want to achieve in the coming year. But this year instead of setting goals and finding I didnt achieve them at the end of the year. Ive decided to start really working at achieving what i want out of life.
Of course as a woman I feel its hard to really try and achieve the things we want out of life. Because were always trying to make sure everyone else around us is taken care of and happy. Not that, that is a bad thing but it leaves little time to ourselves. This year ive decided is for me. Not that im going to forget everyone else but ive decided to start taking time for myself and to really start living life to its fullest. I feel as thou ive lost sight of who I am. And im sure all of you feel in some way this way. Whether its because your a mom who is always taking care of kids. Or working alot, or going through school. Whatever the case is, us as woman never take the time to realize how beautiful and amazing we are. So ive decided to start this blog. For Me. Im going to post goals, things im working on, and just positive things each week. Your all welcome to try this with me. Id love to have the support and feedback from all of you. This year is going to be an amazing year. And im excited to start on this journey of learning to love myself for who i am. This world is getting harder and harder. Its time to be strong and to not be able to let those worldly things break any of us down. So now starts my journey, and a new year.